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drinkme | 2013 | January

1 January 2013

2013.01.01
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My attention is far more on the midwest than the midwest is upon me.  Yet, how can I grudge my friend the opportunity for companionship and fun?  I cannot.  Still, I am not so keen on being ignored and uninformed.  Something to discuss when things settle down. Being far away has more than a few drawbacks.

I am quite reasonable.  To my own detriment on numerous occasions.  In 2013 my turn shall come else I shall be needing to look elsewhere as my soul cannot, i think, much longer endure.

About to have a bike ride, gym, and swim. Lytton is getting sorted.  Will have the new monitor up in my workspace.  May even tackle the whiteboard, as 2013 is fresh and the white board is not.

What sorts of task priorities do i have?

  • GTaGG
  • PhD survey
  • PhD writing
  • Book outline
  • Teaching

The survey story.

 


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Categories : Life

Sigh

2013.01.01
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We don’t get people as we wish them to be, we get them as they are.  There is a someone in my life and I love this someone perhaps more than I should.  I have such hopes and I worry that I am a fool for such hoping.  Hope, of course, is not expectation.

Here I sit wondering when this person will reach for me.  As has often happened in the past.  As I assume will happen in the future.  I respond, always, when reached for but my own reaching back is a hit and miss proposition.  I would not go a day without a clove of close conversation but this inkling is not equally shared.  Days can pass with making a real-time connection.  One must respect this even if at times it is troubling and painful.  When i hear the words I believe them but the actions are not on par with the words.  Or, rather, I do not understand how to interpret and cannot help but take personally what may just be the normal vagaries of another’s soul.

Giving is not done for the sake of receiving.  Yet, to give so much, in a certain way, and with such fervent love, the hopeful desire is for reciprocation.  Statements have been made about what is to me of value.  At times the return is divine.  At other times, I am left adrift. Puzzled. Confused. Writing words like these that no one will ever read . . .

 


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Categories : Life